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The last 10 inspiring thoughts of the week
As we got to the floor it was embarrassing trust me
The saleswoman accompanies me directly to Husky
I still have faded denim, patent leather Bobby Brown
Jacket for members only, no one is cooler than me
I said I put on my good clothes
– “Good clothes” from Little Brother
Here at ESPN Bottom 10 headquarters, located in a room above the dry cleaners where SVP steams his ties, we float on a cloud of perchlorethylene, overwhelmed with enthusiasm by the continued expansion of the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe in the NBA World.
Has there ever been a better time to appreciate the style and fashion of the league than right now, when we’re all quarantined at home watching classic footage from Michael’s “The Last Dance”? Jordan and his teammates dressed new in their silk suits and berets?
And then, when we look at each other on the couch, wiping the crumbs off Fritos to take a look at the tank top and pajama bottoms we’ve been wearing for 47 straight days, has there ever been a better time? to appreciate the Clothing on the field of the NBA they have misfires? You know what we’re talking about. Those swimsuits that were so obnoxious that even Dwayne Schintzius would scream “Shit, this is ugly!” while he was foaming his mule on the bench.
So, don your favorite Emeka Okafor Charlotte Bobcats jersey and this pair of technicolor Alex English Denver Nuggets cropped shorts and read ahead. With our apologies to Alexander Julian, Benjamin Russell and Steve Harvey, here are the last 10 NBA jerseys of all time.
MORE: The 74 Best Jerseys Ever
When I was in college, my roommates and I spotted a sofa that had been placed on the sidewalk in front of our dorm. It was full of holes and I’m pretty sure full of bedbugs, but we carried it up the stairs to our room.
Instead of buying slipcovers, we simply pulled the golden faux silk sheets from our roommate named Dirty’s bed and threw them on the furniture. They were loose and so slippery that we continued to slide out of our seats and onto the floor.
A decade later, Dirty called me on the phone. “Hey man, the Sacramento Kings are on TV and I think Shareef Abdur-Rahim is wearing my college sheets.”
Those droid metal Mavs uniforms were so ugly that team owner Mark Cuban ordered them to be scrapped after just one game. There’s a photo from that game where Dirk Nowitzki is driving near the Lakers bench and Phil Jackson is staring at the shiny, flowing material, clearly wondering if he could get an acid flashback.
3. Several teams, Christmas 2013, “Big Logo”
It was Christmas Eve and every game
All the jerseys were awful and exactly the same.
Then I heard LeBron James exclaim as he hung 19 years on the Lakers,
“Is that a T-shirt from the gift shop?” We look like hoop forgers! “
WARRIORS! COME PLAY-AYYYYY! Oh … no … wait … go inside and change. Then you can go out and play.
These are the first sleeved jerseys in modern NBA history. They probably should have been the last. It’s no wonder Golden State started winning titles soon after relinquishing them.
5. Boston Celtics, 2014-15, gray substitutes
Classics that we thought could never be ruined, but for at least a brief moment were in fact totally ruined: Ford Mustang in 1974, Coca-Cola in 1985, The Godfather movies in 1990, the Batmobile in 1995. and the Boston Celtics uniform. in 2014-15. They were the embodiment of our feelings about that other crumbling thing: gray and confusing.
The rectangular logo on the chest worn by Blake Griffin and Chris Paul was supposed to read “LAC” for the Los Angeles Clippers, but looked a lot more like “CLA,” as in the California Library Association.
As any Los Angeles librarian will tell you, in the Dewey decimal system, these CLA jerseys are classified under 812.5, along with other American tragedies.
The Cavaliers wore these shirts – officially described as “gold with wine band” – for two seasons. During that time, Cleveland posted a combined record of 39-126.
I guess the wine streak is from what was spilled on them while they were drinking to forget about the games they had just played.
(Editor’s note: The road version of this jersey is pictured here.)
8. Dallas Mavericks, 2019-20, City edition
Tex Moton has long been a leader of the renowned Dallas street art scene, spending over 25 years decorating Big D with his manual labor and inexplicably forced for most of that time to dodge, dive, dive and dodge those responsible for it. the city who have never embraced the idea of ​​street arts. Unfortunately, the only time we needed it, they couldn’t keep Moton out of the Mavericks locker room last November.
In a context that looks like a red unitard from a distance, a blue basketball appears to travel through a space-time portal that will launch the ball from the player’s left shoulder, presumably thanks to the speed it has gained while crossing the Daytona 500- like a left-hander sewn directly on the crotch of the same player.
If you went to a sci-fi movie in 1975 and there was a scene describing what basketball would look like in 2015, that was probably the costume they were wearing.
Either that or the designer really likes pinball machines.
10. Washington Wizards, 2006-09, Gold Alternate
Calling Mr. Arenas … Mr. Gilbert Arenas … we have the Vanderbilt Commodores intramural sports director on line 1 … he says you all stole his basketball uniforms from recreation center.
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