The Rockies released their City Connect jerseys today and it turns out they’re actually just Colorado’s license plate


Quite dramatic yet compelling intro video:

And of course, the complete GUIDE

First page from the start:

“The design reflects a classic green Colorado license plate.”

Or in other words:

“We made these uniforms and then someone remarked at the last second that they looked suspiciously like the OG license plate, so we have to admit it or we’ll be toast.”

I have seen it a thousand times. The alternative is that the Rockies and Nike sincerely collaborated and their #1 option was to tear up the license plate and say the license plate is their big inspiration. I know we’re all stupid but no one is that stupid.

And don’t think I’m trying to make war here. I have no problem with the Rockies or Nike or anyone with that. I’m just saying it’s very obvious that someone reported this error too far into the process and so decided to post a message on IG to casually explain that this was all part of the plan.

For me, the reality is that this is just a nonsensical City Connect shirt. Green is the environmental statement. Marijuana and hiking and all that shit. That’s why you go green with Colorado jerseys. Not because your old license plate was green and Rockies fans come to the game and you want to recognize it. Get out of here with that nonsense.

In the end, just say you wanted to make absurd jerseys. Tell me the EastBay catalog was offering a 50% discount on wholesale green uniforms. Say the trainee went too high and filled out the order form, or you want something that looks a lot like Larry Walker’s Turn Ahead The Clock jerseys without the same color scheme:

Tell me literally about anything but the license plate and you’ll get my full approval. It’s a very simple compromise and even saying that, I still love uniforms. White belts are sweet. Paddock jackets are a must have for any fall collection. The hats and details all work together, even with the deep evergreen base. It’s so bad it’s good. Like a travel baseball team where the dad who runs it really likes the color green. That’s the vibe you get here and I don’t hate any of it. Just let go of license plate inspiration and recognize an embarrassing mistake.

Plus, Kris Bryant will look perfect in this uniform like he does in most uniforms.

More information next week on alternate uniforms on Starting 9

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